It’s a Mistake!

As the exuberant group of neighborhood kids and my two nieces dash inside to continue their hide and seek game, I answer the  front doorbell, barely audible over the loud uncontrollable children’s laughter going upstairs.

“Hello.” It’s a police detective with news about my brother.

“Please, come in.” We sit at the kitchen table.

“Coffee? That’s right, my brother disappeared five years ago…a scuba diving accident.”

The detective slides a photograph towards me. “Have you seen this person recently? There’s a warrant for his arrest. Do you think this could be your brother?”

“NO! This must be a mistake!”

::: ::: :::

Inspiration: Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The challenge is to write a one hundred word story based on the photo prompt. The key: MAKE. EVERY. WORD. COUNT.


Photo credit: Douglas M. Macllroy from Ironwoodwind



45 thoughts on “It’s a Mistake!

  1. David Stewart says:

    That would be quite the twist for a family, finding out their loved one was alive after all, but only because he faked his death. I’m not sure if it would be better or not (well, better, but still a mix of emotions).


  2. Sonel says:

    What a pity about the limit. I would have loved to find out what happened to the brother. 😀
    Well written as usual Sun. 😀


  3. atrm61 says:

    Oh no!How sad to have all your hopes of seeing your loved one alive being raised just to be told that he is a criminal on the run-the horror,the shame,the disbelief,the denial! Unimaginable!Excellent story Sun:-)


  4. Sarah Ann says:

    Love the way you set up this family scene for her world to be destroyed by the policeman. So much story, and so much more for us to imagine. Well done.


  5. sustainabilitea says:

    If the nieces are his children, more than one world is going to come crashing down. I agree with Sarah that you set the family scene nicely. You could make it a bit clearer by changing this ” I answer the barely audible front doorbell over” to “I answer the front doorbell, barely audible over…”



  6. Bastet says:

    Nice twist here…back in 1943, my maternal grandfather died at 32 because of an enlarged heart…on the day of his funeral, the military police came looking for him for draft dodging…perhaps the poor guy just go caught up in someones paper mill ;-/


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