As the exuberant group of neighborhood kids and my two nieces dash inside to continue their hide and seek game, I answer the front doorbell, barely audible over the loud uncontrollable children’s laughter going upstairs.
“Hello.” It’s a police detective with news about my brother.
“Please, come in.” We sit at the kitchen table.
“Coffee? That’s right, my brother disappeared five years ago…a scuba diving accident.”
The detective slides a photograph towards me. “Have you seen this person recently? There’s a warrant for his arrest. Do you think this could be your brother?”
“NO! This must be a mistake!”
::: ::: :::
Inspiration: Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
The challenge is to write a one hundred word story based on the photo prompt. The key: MAKE. EVERY. WORD. COUNT.
Photo credit: Douglas M. Macllroy from Ironwoodwind
That would be quite the twist for a family, finding out their loved one was alive after all, but only because he faked his death. I’m not sure if it would be better or not (well, better, but still a mix of emotions).
-David
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i do agree, David, and another confusing time for his children as well.
thanks!
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Sounds like his brother “disappeared” himself. I wonder what he’s done?
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darn, it’s that hundred word limit again. 😆
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🙂
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Bringing you Pawkisses for a Happy Easter, Chuck and Sun. Hope the Bunny brings you a lot of delicious easter eggs, with every kind of taste you prefer 🙂
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i’m eagerly waiting to celebrate Easter, Little Binky! thank you and enjoy your week. 🙂
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Definitely a twist I didn’t expect.
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well, you got me back, Frank…i didn’t expect your Monday mouse commercial to end so nicely. i’m so happy for the mouse! 🙂
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Sun,
Yep … the mouse is a surprise ending. Have a good week!
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thanks, you too, Frank! that mouse will be super fit in no time…working out and eating all that cheese!! 😛
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What a pity about the limit. I would have loved to find out what happened to the brother. 😀
Well written as usual Sun. 😀
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looks like, Sonel, if the brother gets caught, a major upheaval for this family. 😦
thank you kindly 🙂
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Yep! Serves him right. Unfortunately there are always the innocent parties that have to suffer. Maybe one of them should go and kill him. Then he is dead for real. 😆
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right on, Sonel! crafty, sly character…off with his head! 😆
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hahahahaha! Let’s have fun! LOL!
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it was a mistake alright. i wanted to believe her. 🙂
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thank you very much, Plaridel. 🙂
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Wow, how much pain is going to out them through!
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yes, much pain and turmoil ahead for sure…and i appreciate you taking time to check on this situation, Dawn. 🙂
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Dear Sun,
Sounds like a new drama unfolding for this family. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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thank you so much, Rochelle! ♥
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Oh no!How sad to have all your hopes of seeing your loved one alive being raised just to be told that he is a criminal on the run-the horror,the shame,the disbelief,the denial! Unimaginable!Excellent story Sun:-)
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thanks, Atreyee!! have a wonderful week 🙂
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:-)You too Sun!
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I love the thought of being asked to ID someone wearing a diving helmet. Lovely.
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…yea, just another desperate detective hoping to close the case. 😛
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But . . . Wait! That’s not fair! Please continue the story this Wednesday. (Make the prompt work!) Is that asking too much?
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Good story and cliffhanger ending. This would be especially good for a longer story but also stands alone. 🙂
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thank you kindly, Patricia. 🙂
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Love the way you set up this family scene for her world to be destroyed by the policeman. So much story, and so much more for us to imagine. Well done.
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an unexpected turn of events for sure, Sarah. i appreciate your thoughtful comment. thank you.
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If the nieces are his children, more than one world is going to come crashing down. I agree with Sarah that you set the family scene nicely. You could make it a bit clearer by changing this ” I answer the barely audible front doorbell over” to “I answer the front doorbell, barely audible over…”
janet
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i’m grateful for your suggestion, Janet. thanks! 🙂
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What a picture to start with!….here I thought he’d suffocated from being unable to remove that thing….
Not exactly the afternoon they had expected!
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a splashy thought, Philmouse…a killer diving mask. wish that came to my mind earlier! 😛
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Wow, nice twist! Beginning with the innocent laughter and chattering of children, going all the way to a missing brother who’s also a suspect! Very interesting.
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i enjoyed reading your thoughtful comment, Sam. 🙂 thanks!
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Always Impressive, Sun. Glad to be back here and reading again. Sorry for late replies.
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i’m way later than you, Rommel, so don’t worry. thanks!
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Nice twist here…back in 1943, my maternal grandfather died at 32 because of an enlarged heart…on the day of his funeral, the military police came looking for him for draft dodging…perhaps the poor guy just go caught up in someones paper mill ;-/
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oh my, Bastet, your grandfather’s family must have been so shocked. i’m sure he had good reasons for dodging the draft. may he rest in peace and thank you for sharing.
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Yes they were, I heard the story several times whilst I was growing up.
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The suspense is great, Sun. When is the next installment? 🙂
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ha-haha…good question, Celestine. 😛 i’ll have to check where the fugitive character ran off to… 🙂
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