Let it Go…

John stepped onto the wooden plank followed by his wife. Holding her hand, they walked towards the canopied pavilion as John’s cigarette smoke trailed behind. What urgent news had Miranda received that she would not say over the phone?

Listening to her husband’s labored breathing Miranda said, “Dear, remember your doctor said you should ease up on smoking and…”

“Please, Miranda,” said John. “I know my medical reports. I’ll quit once I get my feckless imbecile brother to stop his monolithic suburban sprawl from destroying our county’s wetlands!”

“Let it go,” her tears falling, “the police found your brother‘s body…”

— — —

Inspiration: Friday Fictioneers with host, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Challenge: Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end.

The Key : MAKE – EVERY – WORD – COUNT

Genre: Contemporary fiction

Photo credit: Adam Ickes

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43 thoughts on “Let it Go…

    • Sun says:

      gotta get it in quick, Milu when you have only 100 words! (laughing) i’m still thinking about your fish dish with the eyeballs…ha-ha. cheers!

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    • Sun says:

      who knows, Rochelle, maybe with John’s back up against the wall, it will now give him motivation to change his unhealthy habits…maybe. i fear some never want to change.

      thanks, and wishing you a great week ahead!

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    • Sun says:

      such challenging times for poor John…you are right, Sarah. i don’t think he will have the desire to quit just yet. 🙂

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  1. K.Z. says:

    fantastic story. very sad news.
    the voices of the characters were very convincing because i got a clear image of miranda, her husband and even the smoke trailing behind him as he spoke

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  2. sustainabilitea says:

    Since it’s a FF story, I have to wonder whether he had something to do with his brother’s death. You wrote a very clear, engaging story with very real people, one of whom is unlikely to stop the thing that’s killing him.

    janet

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    • Sun says:

      hello, Janet! funny you mention about John having something to do about his brother’s passing. i reread the story and yes, that could be a possibility. FF stories are so much fun for the imagination. 😛 thanks for the wonderful comment.

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  3. Nan Falkner says:

    Great story and I really did enjoy it! He probably will find another excuse not to quit, but he does have a good way out right now – if only he tries. I hope he had nothing to do with his brothers demise. Really good tale! Nan

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    • Sun says:

      it seems easier to see the destruction going on in other people’s lives but our own and i think Miranda hopes her husband will start to take more serious care about his own health soon. thanks, Nan. 🙂

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    • Sun says:

      now i didn’t even think about the brother having a smoking problem as well. i like that angle, Sandra! thanks for sharing.

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  4. Wandering Voiceless says:

    Really good story; I thought it interesting that Miranda kept the news of his brother’s death to herself until after she scolded him for smoking… perhaps she was thinking she didn’t want to lose him, as well? Good visuals, too. :>

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    • Sun says:

      it seems Miranda has been trying awhile to get her hubby to face his health issues…hearing his labored breath as they walked made her try (gently as possible) but as usual, John didn’t want to face his problems. i would have thrown in the towel a long time ago…ha-aha. – she’s a good woman…thank you, Melissa. 🙂

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    • Sun says:

      let’s hope John takes the right action and cleans himself up…at least for his poor wife who worries about him. thank you kindly, Sarah.

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    • Sun says:

      Phil.Mouse.Only.You.Would.Spot.The Key!! 😆 my head is nodding yes…always another excuse to never stop. the wife should give up. i appreciate you coming through the wetlands to check in, Philomouse. 😛 cheers!

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    • Sun says:

      one of the hardest addictions to kick so yes, i believe your theory is correct, Dawn…an excuse will certainly linger on. thanks!

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  5. Sonel says:

    Wow! What a shock that must have been for him Sun. Now he’s got no more excuses. Well written as usual Sun. You are the writing Queen here for sure. 😀

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    • Sun says:

      thank you, Sonel…hopefully John will help ease his wife’s burden and just clean up his act soon. 🙂 have a wonderful week!

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