revise, carpe diem, haiku

On The Roof

The Carpe Diem Haiku Kai series called Revise That Haiku, gives aspiring haiku writers a way to learn from the masters. In this third episode, we look at the master **Buson’s haiku with the goal being to revise and create a similar tone haiku. First, Buson followed by my attempt to revise on the master’s haiku. 

a hand-ball
wet with the spring rain falling
on the roof**

mockingbird on roof
take apart rain soaked hand-ball
in spring, four blue eggs

Mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos) eggs

A mini glimpse into Buson’s haiku inspirational moment:

[…] All day the rain has continued. It seems that it has never begun and will never stop. The poet goes to the verandah and stands looking out at the melancholy scene. Caught in the gutter of the roof opposite is a ball made of cloth that children were playing with and that lodged there by accident. The rain pours down relentlessly upon it as upon everything else, soaking its pretty design and colours. The rain continues meaninglessly, uselessly to beat down on the ball. The ball continues meaninglessly, uselessly to be beaten on by the rain. The poet suddenly sees, almost without knowing it, a ‘meaningless’ meaning in this ball, in this rain, in all things. The ball grows sodden, and still the rain falls upon it, as though it were a thing that the rain could make blossom.[…]

Maybe the rain, without meaning except to continue to fall; the ball, without meaning, take in the rainfall that indirectly becomes full of meaning after all.

Enjoy a few more Revise a Haiku:

♥ For Carpe Diem Haiku: Revise a Haiku (bastetandsekhmet.wordpress.com)

♥ it’s all about Carpe Diem lately – I love haiku (bodhisattvaintraining.wordpress.com)

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13 thoughts on “On The Roof

  1. Amrit Sinha says:

    “Maybe the rain, without meaning except to continue to fall; the ball, without meaning, take in the rainfall that indirectly becomes full of meaning after all.” Loved the beauty in it,

    Like

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