ATTENTION, Please Feed Me

If you want to know, I’m totally in need of attention. Perhaps this obsessive neediness is why I adore acting in theater productions. You don’t realize how much I crave and actually start to have withdrawals if I fail to get my fix of at least one theater acting role per season over at the community town theater.

Yes, I’m an attention starved actor and blogger who is feeling a bit insecure at this moment.

ATTENTION, please feed it to me!

It’s Friday night, well Saturday early morning now, since I can’t seem to press the publish button yet and everyone I know is busy! Busy doing their own world and I’m here . . .  with you, and in need. Well, you, meaning my computer screen and keyboard. A glass of beer is here too. Well, that’s been way gone a long time ago. Sigh.

Wait. I’ll be right back. My automatic rice cooker just beeped done and I guess that means I need to eat something. Hmmn . . .  I wonder what would go well with the need for attention?

Come along if you like and you can see what a flourishing  starving actor/ blogger eats.

The audition

The audition: "You know I'd be the perfect leading lady, Mr. Director!"

You know, in some ways, blogging is a lot like going through with an audition. You hope the director will cast you for the lead role and if not, at least get a minor role-playing any character you can land! (I’m both starving and desperate!)

And here I type away at my blog and secretly hope, when I press the publish button, that many, many readers will enjoy my posts.

You see, once you’ve auditioned for a part or pressed the publish button after putting your heart and soul into the one post you feel will get the view numbers for your stats skyrocketing beyond your wildest dreams, you have to wait. Wait, I tell you!!

Wait for the director to call you with the good news that you landed a lead part!

Wait for the blog readers you know will pour in at any moment now.

Then, after a zillion thoughts of how you should have written this or read the part in a different voice for the audition, the phone rings.

“Yes, this is she. Oh, I see. You were looking for an older female lead? I see. . .”

(This is what’s really going on in my brain:  Umm,  is the director really telling  me the truth or did I totally fail during auditions?? I must have failed! I didn’t bring the character to life so the director has a better actor to play the part! I knew I should have . . .)

“You would like me to play a minor role as a, what??

Did I hear you say, you would like to cast me as the hooker in your play?

Erm, uh, gee, okay?!”

Hey, a part is a part, right??

Well, this attention hungry, wanna-be-famous actor/ wanna-be-famous blogger, is doing what she has learned best from lots of rehearsals–acting the lead role of waiting for that golden moment to arrive . . . it should be any minute now.

Fame is only a day away . . .really. No lie.

What can I say. I’m a bit ashamed to have told you of my insecure mental gymnastics I perform after every audition and after every published post. Perhaps I should remind myself of the famous words by Harold W. Dodds, that,

Each one of us requires the spur of insecurity to force us to do our best.   ( brainyquote.com)

Have you felt a need for attention or the knock of insecurity lately? 

Cheers to the insecurities we each face and the best that comes from it!

Sunshine xoxo

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24 thoughts on “ATTENTION, Please Feed Me

    • Sunshine says:

      At least waiting to be discovered while blogging is blessed with blog pals who keep each other company! I’m happy you dropped by Babyjill! 🙂

      Like

  1. orples says:

    I can really relate to this post … hoping and praying readers will find themselves attracted to my books, and hoping I’ve not wasted time, money, and effort fulfilling my dreams. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I know exactly what you mean about being the starving artist, (no matter what genre) waiting to be discovered. Here’s wishing us both the best of luck! 🙂

    Like

    • Sunshine says:

      Oh Orples,
      Never, never a waste of time or money when you are fulfilling your dreams! I figure, if I never land a lead part, well, it was worth every audition and role because it was the love of the creation that kept me going. Your love for your creations are more precious than fame. You may be poorer but still richer in heart because you created something beautiful. I think of Van Gogh every time. Poor fellow never saw or experienced fame in his lifetime but what a legacy he left behind.
      ~Abundant love and positive attention to you Orples! Thank you!!

      Like

      • orples says:

        Sunshine, you are truly that … a ray of sunshine. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I can not even begin to count the hours I’ve put into the orples, and before that my many home plans. Sometimes I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. So the thanks goes to you for moral support. It is greatly appreciated. I would love to leave a legacy for my children and their children. But again, only time will tell if it is meant to be or not. I hope we both capture our dreams … wouldn’t that be something?

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      • Sunshine says:

        I’m thinking it done Orples! I see your children and many others enjoying the dream you began because you kept the creative light burning to the very end–even with major obstacles. It’s too late to turn back, gotta keep going!
        Your kind compliments warms my heart . . .
        ~Have a blessed Sunday filled with peace and love. 🙂

        Like

  2. munchow says:

    No need to feel ashamed dear Sunshine. We all feel the insecurity when we push the button, send the photographs to the editor or try to sell an assignment (as my life is evolving). It’s always hard to put yourself on the stake. Selling a car is one thing – or a house or a cell phone or… – but selling yourself, as we do as creatives, is a different story (or so I believe since I have never sold a car or a house or…). Quite a scary story. Without some positive attention in between at least, it would be very hard to put up a performance again and again. And then one day maybe we get the lead part… Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts.

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    • Sunshine says:

      Otto, comforting words you sent over–THANK YOU!!– and it’s crazy how the mind works, is it not?

      ‘Positive attention’ is the nourishment needed for any artist working fervently in their creative works.
      I’m feeling quite satisfied and content with your visit. Thanks!

      Like

    • Sunshine says:

      Hey, Alice!! Thank you for the visit! Just had a ‘self pity’ moment but I’m good now. 🙂
      I agree, ATTENTION ROCKS!!
      The joys of blogging is the ability to put your heart out to repair and have wonderful blog pals patch up the rough spots and make life smooth again!
      I’m back on the road again . . . Thanks!! 🙂

      Like

  3. Caddo Veil says:

    Great post, Sunshine! All I can say is that the blog has done wonders for me–and I don’t care about the stats that much (they’re fun–like cotton candy is a treat–I don’t need it for survival). I feel very free to be all the personalities that are me–the me I never was before Blogville. The occasional comment which reflects that I’ve had a positive impact on someone is way better than big numbers–but that’s just Caddo. Keep up your auditions–and God bless them, and You, abundantly!!

    Like

    • Sunshine says:

      Yum! Cotton candy the ultimate comfort food! haha! oh, I was having an out of body moment I guess Caddo when I poured my heart out on the page…all’s good now. Maybe I should have gone to sleep and all would have been a-ok! I am very thankful for blog pals, like yourself, who come by and fix things up. Yep, will continue with the auditions just to see what roles come my way . . . the surprise will be worth the effort!
      Thank you for the blessings too!
      See ya! xoxo

      Like

  4. rumpydog says:

    I can relate. In my case I have worked so hard to build up a following that now I wonder if something I say will be the thing that runs people off. So I struggle with being true to my mission of sharing information about animals versus being true to my mission to develop a paying blog.

    Like

    • Sunshine says:

      Hmmn, do you mean Rumpydog, by paying, a blog that brings in financial support? Me, with simple mind is confused. 🙂 (if it is, well, developing a paying blog in order to pay bills and eat is more a priority or else, *gasp* you wither away and then, no blogging at all!! Nooo, we need you Rumpy and the rest of your ‘tribe!’)
      Anyway, I believe having a mission, as you do, will bring the loyal bloggers who are passionate about the same mission as yours and others who fall away perhaps find their passion really wasn’t the same as yours.
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Blogging pals who walk beside us when we feel out of sorts, sure makes for positive attention that help us refocus and get back on track. ~Abundant gourmet power dog treats for you Rumpy!

      Like

  5. mj monaghan says:

    Sunshine:
    We like you! We really like you!!

    No need to be insecure. Though, in truth, all of us are insecure in our pursuits.

    Whether it be the business person about to present that great, or hopefully great, sales pitch; or to the creative writer or artist who is about to throw out the latest post or art piece.

    Loved this post, my friend. Rest easy – totally understand your feelings about this.

    Like

    • Sunshine says:

      *Purring* like your favorite cat . . .
      *Jumping and running all around like your favorite puppy and in between all of that, excitedly shouting thank you! thank you! for the attention MJ! 🙂

      Like

  6. suitablefish says:

    I appreciate your honesty in this post. It’s difficult to keep up, but know your loved. Keep spreading the sunshine. And I believe if you lighten the heart of one reader it’s enough. Have a great weekend!

    Like

    • Sunshine says:

      Hey Suitablefish! Thank you for your uplifting words . . . it has made my weekend a great one! You have yourself a peaceful week ahead! 🙂

      Like

  7. eof737 says:

    It’s a rare bird who doesn’t feel a twinge now and then… It is what makes us human… With posts, I find that once I publish it, I have to release it and focus on edits and updates…. We don’t have to be perfect. 😉

    Like

    • Sunshine says:

      A very good point about once published, one must learn to release it and not worry. Just do our very best . . . thanks for tip Eliz 🙂

      Like

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